Ending Old Journeys and Starting New Ones

Well, this year has definitely been a journey. My 2014 resolution was to publish something, and thanks to the encouragement of my friends and family, I did just that. Granted, it wasn’t the book that I’ve envisioned in my future, but we’ve got to save something for this year, right? Nevertheless, seeing my theatre reviews in print in an actual magazine that people buy, gave me a feeling of pride that I’ll never forget. It was a huge moment for me. Thank you so much to everyone who helped me achieve this, especially Artsbeat’s editor, Amanda Penman, for giving me the opportunity to get my foot in the door.

I got through my first year of college this year. You may or may not know that I’ve found college to be a rather difficult challenge and have come close to giving up more than once. But I got through it, passed all my subjects, and so far my final year has been much better.

What else have I achieved this year? Well, this blog for one thing. Over the years, I’ve started and restarted so many blogs that I’ve lost count, but this is the first one that I’ve held close to my heart. And I think that shows because you have been so supportive of it. Thank you, everyone, for reading all of my mundane ramblings, putting up with my rants, and being interested in what I have to say. I wouldn’t be here writing this if it wasn’t for every single one of you.

I am so proud of all of my friends and family for what they have achieved this year. My dad’s football reviews are being published in the club’s magazine, my mum’s beautiful paintings are selling better than ever, my older sister has started a new (extremely busy) journey to midwifery, my brother has been promoted, and my little sister performed stunningly in her Class 8 Play before going off to Iceland with her friends at the beginning of summer. I can’t begin to describe how proud I am to have a family as kind and talented as them.

And what do I have to look forward to in 2015? In January, I’m attending a film course with BFI that could lead to all sorts of exciting things. I’ll be taking my exams and finishing college in summer, which will lead to me taking a new path into the unknown world of Adulthood, wherever that may be. Whether I start university or take a year out to focus on writing, I know that next year will be full of opportunities. And then, to celebrate my parents’ 25th anniversary, we’re going to Disneyland! Remember, this post from way back in May? Well, it’s finally happening! I guess publishing reviews was good enough. (Not that I’m giving up on the book front.)

I don’t truly believe in ‘resolutions’, as the word seems to discourage people to stick to them. But I do believe in making plans and goals for the coming year. So here are mine.

1. Write a book.
I’m not giving up on this. It will happen this year, I swear. I’ve made my first steps towards it, and nothing’s going to stop me now.

2. Write more, in general.
I’m going to write everything. Articles, blog posts, book reviews, theatre reviews, poetry, scripts, music, everything. If there’s something that I haven’t tried writing before, I’ll do it this year.

3. Learn guitar.
I’ve always wanted to be Ed Sheeran, but my chances of that were greatly diminished when I stopped my guitar lessons at five years old. Now, with a renewed sense of music, I will finally begin to achieve my dream of becoming a musical sensation (ha!).

4. Face my future.
I’m terrified of adulthood. Now, at eighteen years old, I’m not going to be scared anymore. Honest.

5. Eat healthier and exercise more.
This one is not a promise.

What are your New Year’s resolutions/plans? Let me know in the comments.

Merry Slightly Late Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Lots of love, from Beth.


Listening to: Wrecking Ball by Jasmine Thompson
Watching: Thor: The Dark World
Drinking: Schleur
Eating: Christmas chocolate

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You Are Extraordinary

Today, I am going to write to you all about something that I am only just learning myself. I know that at the moment I have a mixed bunch of readers, but I believe that this is a subject that will mean something to everyone.

A few weeks ago, I had something of an ‘existential crisis’ in the words of the wonderful Dan Howell (YouTube and BBC Radio 1’s danisnotonfire). It may have been partly due to stress of my exams, but that didn’t make it any less awful. I got it into my head that I wasn’t enjoying any of my college courses, and because of that, I started to lose hope in everything else that I enjoyed. I’m a writer but I couldn’t write anything. I love acting but I couldn’t find any energy to act. Singing is my favourite hobby but it just seemed so exhausting. I didn’t know what on earth I wanted to do with the rest of my life because nothing seemed to be working out at that moment.

The problem, I realise now, is that I was so consumed in the stresses of that one moment that I couldn’t see past it. I didn’t need to decide who I was going to be right then, and I still don’t. Neither do you.

The future is a wide expanse of exciting opportunities, and it is all yours. As cheesy as that sounds, it is completely true. You can be whoever you want to be and you can change who you want to be whenever you want. It doesn’t matter what age you are – if you’re not happy with the way something is going in your life, then change it. You’re never too old or too young to be yourself.

If you are in the middle of a job but you want to try something new or have a go at that dream that you’ve dreamt of achieving since you were eight, then go for it. If you are just starting at college or picking out your GCSE options, and you don’t have a clue what you want to do when you’re older, that’s fine. Just pick the things that you enjoy doing, even if they end up being a crazy eclectic mix that doesn’t make any sense. You still have your whole life ahead of you; don’t get hung up on this one part of it. There is always the option to change.

It seems like in modern society, people are scared to change who they are, or who they think other people think they are. I think this is due to the huge amount of judgement that is pressed upon us on a daily basis. But I promise you that it is perfectly fine to change things if it will make you happier. No one should judge you for that and if they do then they are not worth knowing. But that’s a story for a different blog post.

The point that I am trying to make here is that you shouldn’t let anything stop you from doing what you want to do in life. You are an extraordinary person and this is no one’s life but your own. You have people who love you and in the end, as long as you are happy, nothing else matters.